


I Had a Best Friend

by pastelsicheng



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Best Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, NCT Dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelsicheng/pseuds/pastelsicheng
Summary: At 5 you met Renjun. At 18, you leave him to go to Earth. At 21, you’re back at your birthplace, the space station for a wedding— Renjun’s wedding. Or, in which you and Renjun were always supposed to be endgame, but it takes a wedding between him and someone else to finally get you two together.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Reader, NCT Dream Ensemble/Reader
Kudos: 18





	I Had a Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: huang renjun x gender neutral reader (they/them/their pronouns used)
> 
> Genre: best friends to ex friends to lovers AU, fluff, angst, lightly based on the Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century universe (you don’t have to watch the movie to read though)
> 
> Warnings: cursing, breakups, cheating, lots of mutual pining and obliviousness/willful ignorance by both parties
> 
> Word Count: ~18.1k 
> 
> Author’s Note: cross-posted from my tumblr @pastelsicheng

**[2036]**

10 minutes. 600 seconds. That’s how long it had been since your mom had started a conversation with this random lady who claimed to have just arrived at the space station. Her straight black hair is tied behind her head in a ponytail, and she’s dressed in clothes you’d never seen before. Beside her is a boy who looked to be around your age, pressing buttons on some weird gadget or toy you had, once again, never seen before. 

732 seconds now. Your mom just told her your name and age.

“Oh, my son Renjun is also five years old! Renjun, say hi.” Renjun’s mom looks down at him. He avoids her eyes and looks at the toy gadget in his hands instead. His mom nudges him, and he lets out a deep sigh before he meets your gaze.

“Hi,” he says. Then he goes back to staring down at the gadget, his fingers pressing the buttons even more aggressively than before. 

“(Y/N), why don’t you go play with Renjun while I speak to his mom?” your mom suggests. She doesn’t wait for your answer and pushes you towards the boy. His mom also steps aside, giving the two of you your own privacy to talk. 

You speak first. “Hi, I’m (Y/N).” Renjun suddenly stops pressing the buttons on his gadget. You get a small glimpse of the screen which has the image of a crashed car and the letters F, A, I, and L. 

“You made me lose my game,” Renjun huffs. His eyebrows are furrowed and his lips shape into a frown. 

“Oh,” you say, “sorry.” Renjun doesn’t accept your apology. Instead, he restarts his game and ignores you. You speak up again, “My mom said I have to play with you.”

“I don’t wanna play with you,” Renjun states. 

His statement upsets you, and you reach out to grab ahold of his game gadget. “You have to listen to the adults!” you cry. Renjun lets out a whine and jerks away from you. 

“I said I don’t wanna!” His raised voice grabs the attention of both of your mothers.

“Hey, sweetie. Why are you shouting?” Renjun’s mom asks. 

“They’re trying to take my game!” he exclaims, pointing his index finger at you. 

“Renjunnie, you know you have to share your toys if you want friends. Remember what I told you?” 

He huffs at his mom’s statement. “But I don’t wanna. It’s my game.”

“Renjun.” His mom’s voice is sterner now, and the frustration leaves his face. 

“ _Fiiiine._ ” His voice drags out the word and he reluctantly hands you the gadget. You take it from him with a smile. 

“How do I play this?” you ask.

“Teach (Y/N) how to play, honey,” Renjun’s mom says. Then she returns back to her conversation with your mom. 

Renjun bitterly glares at you as you press random buttons on the device hoping for the best. “You’re going to break it,” he grumbles, quickly holding onto the device, his hands on top of yours. You let him guide your fingers over the game, watching as the red car speeds past other coloured cars until it passes a finished line and the screen reads, ‘Level Complete’.

“What game is this?” you ask him, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“It’s a race car game,” he tells you. “I got it from Earth.”

Your eyes widen. “Earth? Oh, I’ve always wanted to go to Earth, that’s so cool!”

Renjun can’t help but feel a little proud that he’s managed to seem so cool to someone on his first day on the spaceship. “Yeah, Earth is cool. Okay, now you try by yourself,” he says. The annoyingness in his voice is now gone as he once again shows you which buttons do what before watching you start the next level. 

You’d lost count of the time, too caught up in playing Renjun’s game, however, it couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes. Less than 600 seconds is what it took for a friendship to blossom between the two of you. And when you easily beat the level as if you were an expert who’d been playing the game forever, he can’t help but feel impressed. Someone who was just as good as him in playing games? That was definitely someone he wanted to be friends with for a long time.

Despite the initial hostility between you two, neither of you want to leave when your mothers say so, only relenting with the promise that you’d see each other the next day at school. That would be in about 17 hours. In 1032 minutes to be exact.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It actually took 1046 minutes for Renjun to walk into the classroom with his mom and an additional 18 minutes for him to finish the formalities with the teacher and his introduction to the class. 1064 minutes before you could finally take him away from everyone else and play with him.

“This is Luna. They’re my best friend,” you introduce as soon as you’ve led him to where you were initially playing. Renjun waves hello despite standing right in front of Luna. 

“Hi, I’m Renjun. I’m from Earth.”

“Wow, I’ve never seen an Earth boy before!” Luna exclaims in surprise. They reach out a hand and grab Renjun’s wrist, scanning his hand as if it would somehow be different and less human.

“Right? Isn’t he so cool?” you squeal just as excited. You look at Renjun and continue, “I’ve always wanted to visit Earth, but my mom always says no. She says it’s dangerous.”

“It _is_ dangerous,” Renjun says. “My mom said it’s safer up here for us.”

You frown. “Really?” You’d always thought your mom was saying that because she just didn’t want to go down to Earth. 

“Yeah. But my mom said I could meet aliens up here.” 

Luna drops Renjun’s hand. “Aliens aren’t real.”

You nod your head in agreement. “Yeah, there’s no aliens in space.”

Renjun huffs. “Well, my mom said there are. I’m going to go search for them when I grow up.”

“When I grow up, I want to go to Earth,” you say. 

“I want to be a space scientist like my mom,” Luna adds. 

Renjun smiles at that. “I want to be a space scientist too! I want to find aliens. On Earth, we have alien movies. They’re green and short and their eyes are like this.” Renjun tries to shape his hand into what looks like a rectangle to you.

“They have rectangle eyes?” you ask.

“No, they’re like, round and pointy.” He tries to adjust his hand but to no avail. “They’re black too. Maybe you guys can come to my house and we can watch a movie.”

“You mean your pod? Okay!” Luna agrees excitedly. “I want to see an Earth movie.”

You frown. “My mom said I can’t go to people’s pods unless we’re best friends.”

“Well, we can be best friends then.” 

You smile big at his statement. “Okay!” 

“Yay! I now have two best friends!” Luna exclaims. 

In excitement, the three of you start playing with the building blocks and chatting away about space. In your mind, the date October 17th, 2036 and the time 9:37 A.M. imprints itself as the anniversary of your friendship with Renjun.

**[2037]**

March 23rd was Renjun’s birthday, and of course, with it being his first birthday on the spaceship, his mother had thrown a huge party. You were excited because it was the first time your mom had also let you pick presents for him. You’d chosen a paint set because in the few months that you’d gotten to know Renjun, you’d found out that he had a knack for art. 

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you…” The room sings as they all surround the table with the cake. The candle lights flicker and illuminate Renjun’s face, making him look even brighter than he already did with his toothy grin. “…Are you one? Are you two? Are you three? Are you four? Are you five? Are you six?” 

“Stop!” Renjun shouts. The chorus of adults and children singing stops, and everyone cheers. 

“Make a wish, Renjunnie!” his mom exclaims. Renjun closes his eyes and thinks long and hard about his wish. Then he blows the candles, extinguishing the flames in one go. Everyone cheers again.

Renjun’s mom holds his hand and helps him cut the green frosted, alien shaped cake. You watch with a grin on your face as his mother swipes a finger through the frosting and wipes it on Renjun’s cheeks as he squeals. 

It isn’t until after the present opening and the cake eating that you finally get a chance to talk to Renjun alone. 

“Hi, guys,” he greets you and Luna. You scooch over closer to Luna on the carpet where you are seated, and Renjun sits down beside you.

“Happy birthday,” you say. 

Luna follows your lead. “Happy birthday, Renjunnie!”

“Thanks!” His eyes shine bright with happiness. “There’s so many people here.”

Your eyes roam around the room. The small pod was crammed with mostly adults, friends and co-workers of his mom. The other children from your class have already taken their leave with their parents. 

“Today was so fun,” Renjun sighs happily. The soft smile on his face makes you feel giddy as well, and you stick your hand into the pocket of the overalls you were wearing. 

“I have one more present for you,” you say. 

“Really?” Renjun asks. You nod.

“I made friendship bracelets,” you announce. You pull out 3 matching string bracelets. Hanging on each was 3 small charms, a globe, an alien face, and a space shuttle. 

“You made friendship bracelets?” Renjun asks. 

“Yeah! And it has charms of the Earth and aliens and the space shuttle on it. My mom gave them to me.” You hand one bracelet each to Renjun and Luna. 

“Wow!” Luna exclaims in fascination, admiring the charms. “This is so cool!”

“Where did you learn how to make these? Do they have friendship bracelets up here too?” Renjun asks. 

“Luna and I watched a movie and they had friendship bracelets,” you admitted. “I wanted to make them for us too. Now we’re best friends forever!”

Renjun admires the sloppy braiding of the strings and the dangling charm with a smile on his face. “Thanks, (Y/N),” he says.

“I’m going to keep mine on forever!” Luna squeals, slipping the bracelet onto their wrist. You grin widely, teeth on display. A warm feeling fills you, happiness due to the fact that the precious gift you had spent time on made your friends happy.

“Is the alien supposed to be for me?” Renjun asks. 

You nod your head, glad that he understood what you were going for. “Yeah! It’s what we wanna do when we grow up! The alien is because you want to see aliens. The Earth is for me because I want to go to Earth, and the space shuttle is for Luna because they want to stay here with their mom.”

“Thanks, (Y/N)!” Luna throws themself onto you in a hug and you topple over at the sudden weight, laughter escaping you. Renjun notices and jumps onto Luna, making the weight heavier. 

Squeals and giggles and happiness surround the three of you, and your subconscious hopes then and there that you’d be best friends forever.

**[2041]  
**

“Where are we going?” you ask Renjun. He’s holding your hand and leading you to somewhere on the ship. 

“Exploring,” he says simply. 

“Haven’t we explored the pod so many times already? I’ve lived here since forever and you’ve lived here for five years now. We’ve seen everything,” you nag. Renjun walks a bit faster, pulling your hand harder to make you speed up as well.

“We haven’t seen everything,” Renjun disagrees. “We haven’t gone into any of the restricted areas.”

You huff. “Because we’re not allowed in any of those places.”

“Come on, (Y/N). We’ve never gone anywhere before without our parents or another adult. This is our chance to explore.” He was right. This was the first time your parents had let you two leave your pods to hang out together alone. Luna was supposed to join you two, but they were showing signs of a cold, so their mom said no last minute. 

“But what if we get caught? My mom won’t ever let me leave the pod again.” You chew your bottom lip anxiously. 

“We won’t get caught, I promise,” Renjun says.

You stand still, forcing Renjun to stop as well. “Pinky promise?” You stick your pinky finger out and Renjun sighs before locking his own pinky with yours, something you’d seen kids do in the Earth movies.

“I pinky promise.” With a smile, you intertwine your hand with Renjun’s once again and let him lead you along.

After getting past the crowd of people, you enter a secluded part of the science hallway where all the space and related modules were.

“I found this spot a while ago when my mom brought me to the lab,” Renjun says as you walk. The two of you round another corner and then you see it. A wide glass window that looks out into space. You stare in awe, letting go of Renjun’s hand to get closer to the glass. Your palms instead press against the window as you admire the view outside. 

You’d seen Earth through smaller windows on the space shuttle, and in pictures and videos shown in class, but nothing could compare to the beauty of what you saw at the moment. White swirls covered yellow, brown, and green colours of what you knew as land. The deep colour of blue that covered most of the Earth was beautiful. 

“Wow,” you breathe. It’s all you can say. 

Renjun comes to your side, looking at you. “Do you like it?” he asks. 

“I love it,” you reply, eyes still glued to the glowing planet that was floating in the darkness of space. In the distance, you could see several other stars and planets, and you can’t help but feel a surge of want. Why should you be confined to this shuttle, when there was a whole planet right there? The place where you should have been born? 

“I can’t wait to show Luna this place,” you say quietly after a long moment of silence with you staring out the large glass window in awe.

“Actually,” Renjun speaks up, “can we keep this a secret? Just between us?”

You tear your eyes away from the view in front of you, tilting your head in confusion. “Huh? Why?” you ask, eyebrows furrowed.

He shyly looks away from your gaze. “I want this to be our place,” he practically mumbles. “We can find another place for us to hang out with Luna, but this should be our secret.”

You’re too awestruck to really register his reasoning in your head, and so you say, “Okay.”

Renjun seems surprised by your answer but doesn’t question it in case you decide to change it. 

“There’s a spot here where we can sit and hide if we need to,” he says. He directs you to a pushed in wall where you both could easily fit into and hide if anyone were to pass by. The area also gives you a nice view of the entire window. 

The two of you sit down onto the floor, leaning your backs against the wall. 

“This is really pretty,” you say. 

“I know you really like Earth, so I thought you’d enjoy it,” he says bashfully.

“Thanks for thinking of me,” you say gratefully. You lean towards him and pull him into a hug. When you let go, you don’t think much of the pink dusting his cheeks, instead starting a conversation. “You know in class when we learned about-”

And the two of you talk and talk for almost 4 hours before you decide you should head back to your pods. You talk about everything and anything that ten-year-olds talk about for exactly 229 minutes. 

**[2047]**

At the age of 16, you really did wish that you lived on Earth. High school on the space station was unlike high school on Earth. You’d seen in the movies how the kids had prom and homecoming and football games and everything else that didn’t exist on the space station. There was no such thing as freshman orientation because, well, you already knew your classmates. They were the same people you’d been going to school with since kindergarten. 

You’d also seen the Disney movie, 16 Wishes, with Renjun and Luna, and found out what Sweet 16s were. The fact that it wasn’t something adopted on the space shuttle baffled you, and you insisted on having a Sweet 16 birthday party. But despite your pleadings, your mom had said no. 

So instead of a party, you spent your 16th birthday at school, in class, absolutely miserable.

“Do you wanna hang out at our spot?” Renjun asks you and Luna as you walk out of class together. 

“I’m sorry,” Luna says. “My mom wanted me to go help her in the lab again as soon as class finished. I told her it was your birthday but…”

You force a smile on to your face. “It’s fine. I think I’m gonna just go back to my pod and nap.” 

Luna frowns. “I’m sorry. I know you really wanted to celebrate it and have a Sweet Sixteen. I promise the three of us can have a mini party tomorrow during lunch. I’ll be free then.”

“It’s alright, Luna. Go to your mom or you’ll be late.” You shoo them away. 

“Happy birthday again. I love you,” Luna says as they walk away from you, clutching their backpack on their shoulders. You wave until they turn their back to you. Your hand drops to your side and your smile drops from your face. 

Renjun notices and nudges you. “Hey, we can hang out at our own special place still,” he offers. 

You shake your head no. “It’s fine, I’m feeling tired anyway. I’m gonna go back to my pod and sleep.”

“But I had something to show you. Come on, please? You can sleep afterwards.” Renjun pouts. You don’t know when you started noticing, but he looks cute with his lips jutted out and eyes downturned. 

You sigh. _Why couldn’t you say no to him?_ “Alright. Let’s go.”

Renjun grins. “Yay!” He grabs onto your hand and leads you to your shared spot. Well, more like he’s dragging you along. 

The site of the Earth greets you again, but for once it doesn’t make you feel happy and warm inside. Instead, you feel even worse knowing that there’s no way you’d ever be able to go to Earth if your mom wouldn’t even let you have a stupid Sweet 16 birthday party.

“Sit,” Renjun orders, letting go of your hand. You sigh and toss your backpack carelessly to the side, slumping down with your back against the wall until you’re seated on the cold floor. Beside you, Renjun is shuffling around in his bag. 

“What are you doing?” you ask him, peeking over to see what he’s doing. 

“Nothing,” he replies. You huff and lay down, head resting on your backpack and knees curled to your chest. The view of the Earth stares at you mockingly. You turn around, facing your back to the view, and close your eyes.

“Are you okay?” Renjun asks. “If you wanna go to your pod, we can go there instead.”

You shrug, though you’re unsure whether he saw your shoulders clearly. “We can go back after I see what you wanted to show me.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to be looking at me to see it,” he replies sarcastically. 

Groaning, you sit upright, your back slouched forward in exhaustion. “What is it?” you ask. 

Renjun holds out his hand. In his palm is a metal chain. “I remade our friendship bracelets so they’d last forever.” He gestures for you to pick it up, and so you do. The same 3 charms are present: the Earth, the alien, and the space shuttle. However, they’re 3D shaped, unlike the charms you had on the current bracelet you were wearing, which were flat and 2 dimensional.

“Where did you get the charms from?” you ask in fascination. The Earth looks especially realistic, and you wonder where Renjun had gotten it from. You’d never seen anything like it before, not even in the shuttle’s convenience store.

“I made them,” he answers. 

“No way.” You look at him with eyes wide, your previous sullen mood now forgotten. “How did you make them? They’re so cool!” You bring the bracelet closer to your face so that you can admire the crafting of the charms. 

“I made them with my dad. You know how he makes me work with him with welding and mechanics and stuff?” You nod your head in acknowledgement. Renjun continues, “I asked him if I could make these, and he let me. He helped me with making the chains, though. Then I just painted them.”

“This is so much nicer than the bracelets I made,” you say. “You should become a full-time artist honestly. Drop out of school.”

Renjun shoves you lightly and giggles. The sound of his laughter makes you crack a smile. “Shut up, I can’t drop out. Besides, I want to be a scientist, remember? I wanna go alien hunting.”

You giggle at him and hold the bracelet out to him. “Okay, alien hunter. Put the bracelet on me.”

He takes it from your hands and shuffles closer to you, letting your knees touch. His fingers brush against the skin of your wrists and you feel tingles. _Was that normal?_ The close proximity between you two suddenly feels too intimate. As soon as Renjun clasps the lock you shuffle backwards, laying back down on your backpack. 

You clear your throat. In an attempt to clear whatever awkwardness you were feeling, you ask, “Did you give Luna the bracelet yet?”

“No. Not yet.” Renjun doesn’t seem too bothered by the previous interaction, and you scold yourself for feeling off. _He’s your best friend,_ you remind yourself.

“What about yours?”

“I left mine in my room. I’ll put it on when I get back to my pod.”

“Oh. Okay.”

It’s silent for another moment. Renjun breaks it by speaking up. “Can you believe that it’s been like ten years since we’ve been friends?”

“Actually it’s been more than eleven years,” you mumble. It had also been exactly 193 seconds since he’d put the bracelet on you. Not that you were counting. 

“You’d know the exact date and time, huh,” he teases. Your weird knack of measuring the time by minutes and seconds hadn’t gone unknown by him. To be honest, if there was a single thing that he didn’t know about you, you’d be surprised. It was the eleven years and counting of friendship that gave him that advantage. Of course, Luna had it too. 

231 seconds. Your finger taps on the floor as you admire the view outside. Maybe you wouldn’t have any memories of a Sweet 16 for your birthday, but you would definitely have this memory of Renjun by your side as you watched out the window. Oh, and, you also had the bracelet. 

**[2048]**

Soft sniffles escape you, tears rolling down your cheeks. You stare out the window into the galaxy, your knees up and your arms wrapped around your legs. Your head rests on your knees and your usual thoughts of life outside of the space shuttle are replaced with thoughts of the incident that occurred just less than an hour ago. 

He’d dumped you 26 minutes ago. That was 1567 seconds ago. 

Counting the seconds didn’t exactly help get your mind off of things, yet you did it anyway, waiting for Renjun to come. 

1582 seconds. 

“Hey, sorry I couldn’t come faster. My mom kept nagging me to fold my clothes before I left the pod— _are you crying?_ ” 

The question has another wave of tears flowing out of you, and a choked sob escapes your throat. 

“Woah, what happened?” Renjun demands. He rushes to your side, pulling you towards him. Your head ends up on his chest and one of your hands clutches his shirt while the other is on the ground to balance yourself.

“Dejun broke up with me,” you choke out. At your words, you feel Renjun tense up, and the hand that’s patting your back freezes. 

“He dumped you? Why?” Renjun gently pulls you away from him so that he can see your face as you speak, though his hands still linger on your arm.

“Since he’s graduating this year, he said he needs to focus more on school and get good grades so that his parents let him go to Earth.” You pause to wipe your eyes and cheeks. “He said I’m a distraction, and also that he doesn’t want to wait a whole year for me to be able to go down to Earth and be with him.”

“I’m sorry,” Renjun says. He leans against the wall and pulls you into his chest once again. You’re half surprised at his words, expecting him to say some form of ‘I told you so’, but his words warm your heart and you feel better knowing that Renjun maybe did have some sort of empathy in him when it came to talking about your now ex-boyfriend.

“You’re not gonna say 'I told you so’?” you ask Renjun once you’ve calmed down a bit, and tears are no longer threatening to come out. 

“Maybe tomorrow,” Renjun jokes. A small snort escapes you. 

There’s a moment of silence before you speak up once again. “Thanks for being here. I- I’m sorry for crying.” You peel yourself away from his grasp and sit up straight. 

“Why are you saying sorry? It’s okay to be sad around me, you know. We’re best friends.” Renjun reaches out his hand to grasp yours, and you let him intertwine your fingers. 

“I dunno,” you shrug. “You never liked Dejun. I thought you’d tell me to get over it or something.”

“Contrary to what you think, I actually have a high emotional intelligence score. I’m not gonna be a jerk when you just broke up. But if you want me to say that to you, then I can,” he teases. 

You use your intertwined hands to smack his thigh. “Shut up,” you say. Renjun giggles and you feel a small trace of a smile on your own face. It goes away as soon as another thought enters your head. 

“Am I really not worth waiting for?” You ask softly. Renjun squeezes your hand that’s in his. 

“Dejun is stupid. He’s like every other teen guy on this shuttle who doesn’t know how to treat girls. I remember him telling his friends that avocados are vegetables. It’s literally kindergarten knowledge that foods with seeds are fruits, so avocados are fruits too. You’re gonna let a guy who thinks avocados are vegetables make you feel like you’re not worth waiting for?”

“No…” you say. “You didn’t answer my question though.”

Renjun sighs. “(Y/N), you are absolutely worth waiting for. And before you say that I’m only being nice because I’m your friend, I’m gonna make a deal with you.”

“Huh?” You question. “Why a deal?”

“Let’s make a pact, that if neither of us are married by 30, then we will marry each other.”

“What the hell is that supposed to prove?!” you demand.

“That I can wait until I’m 30 years old for you,” he states. 

You freeze. Was he indirectly confessing to you that he liked you more than a friend should? Or was he just saying random words? 

“What?” you ask quietly. 

Renjun must have realized the implications of what he said. He rushed to cover himself up. “I mean like I will wait until we’re thirty years old just for you, and if you’re still single then maybe we can just get married. If you find someone before then, then I’ll find myself a date.” His words make no sense and he knows it because he bites his bottom lip and shuts himself up. 

“That’s stupid. You shouldn’t put your love life on pause just for me,” you say.

Renjun lets out a sigh. “(Y/N), I’m being a good friend. I have no idea how to comfort you. Just go along with everything. I’m doing this so you know you’re worth waiting for.”

“I… Okay, fine, deal.”

Renjun holds his pinky out, and you intertwine your own pinky with his. 

“Are you feeling a bit better now?” he asks once you let go of each other’s fingers. 

“Not really,” you admit. Renjun’s presence comforted you but you still felt awful, like your heart was ripping in two. You really did like Dejun. You’d become infatuated with the way his face lit up with passion when he spoke about Earth and music, how his eyes crinkled upwards when he smiled wide, and his soft, black hair that you often ran your hands through. You’d talked about living together on Earth, Dejun planning on becoming a performer and a musician while you would try and figure out what it was you wanted to do. And now, those plans would never happen. Dreams and thoughts you had of a future with you and Dejun were now in the trash.

Renjun pulls you into a hug again. “You’ll be okay,” he says quietly.

_Right. You’ll be okay._ And maybe you were already okay because you didn’t recount how many seconds it had been since Dejun broke up with you.

_You’d be okay._

**[2049]  
**

“I can’t believe we’re going to be graduating this year,” you say. Your head is resting on Renjun’s stomach, and his head is in Luna’s lap. Renjun’s fingers tangle within your hair, massaging your scalp. Your eyes flutter shut on their own accord, the feeling of his fingers making you sleepy. 

“Right?” Renjun agrees. “I can’t believe it’s been nearly twelve years since I first came up here.” 

“I keep forgetting that you came here when you were five,” you sigh.

“Yeah,” Luna agrees. “It feels like you’ve always been up here.” 

“I feel like that too,” he admits. “I barely remember much from when I was on Earth, maybe that’s why it feels like I was always here.” 

“That’s making me sleepy,” you tell Renjun. You grab his hand from your hair and pull it to your chest instead. If he continued any longer, the feeling of his fingers on your scalp along with the comfort of Luna’s bed would have you passing out in the middle of the conversation. 

“Did you not sleep last night?” he asks you. 

You nod your head yes. “I did a bit, but Luna’s bed is so comfy and you’re literally massaging my head.”

“Heh, sorry,” he replies. He doesn’t bother to remove his hand from yours, instead adjusting it so his fingers are now intertwined with yours. You glance up to see his eyes closed and his head resting on Luna’s legs as they flip through a space magazine. You look away, ignoring the sudden speeding up of your heart.

“What internship positions are you guys going to apply for?” Luna asks. 

“I dunno, I hope I get one of the space travel openings,” Renjun answers. “I wanna get out of this space shuttle and see the other planets. Maybe find some aliens.”

“I don’t know if I wanna apply for them or go to Earth,” Luna confesses. You look at them in concern. Luna always knew what they wanted to do, and it was to work alongside their mom in the labs. 

“Have you talked to your mom about it?” Renjun asks, voicing the exact question you had in mind. 

Luna shakes their head no. “I haven’t, not yet. I’m scared she’s gonna get mad so I’ve been putting it off.”

“You have to tell her eventually. Applications open in like two weeks,” Renjun reminds. 

Luna sighs. “I will, I just need time.”

“Hey,” you say, “If you decide to go to Earth, you’ll have me.”

Renjun lifts his body up slightly to look at your face. “You’re going to Earth? I thought your mom said no.”

You smile bashfully. “Well, I talked to her again with my dad present and they both finally agreed.”

“What?” Luna asks in surprise, eyes widened in delight. “That’s so great, oh my god! Are they for sure-for sure okay with it?”

“They are,” you grin. “We had a long chat, but they finally agreed and said I could go alone.”

“Why would you want to go alone? Earth is super dangerous, why are you going at all?” Renjun’s tone is harsh when he speaks and you frown, lifting yourself from his stomach and letting go of his hand to sit upright.

“I’ve been saying I want to go to Earth since you came here, Jun,” you say defensively. “And it’s not that dangerous down there. How do you think humans have managed to survive for so long if it wasn’t safe?”

“That’s different. You don’t know a single thing about Earth life and Earth people. Movies are glorified stories and not true at all, and the only reason you want to go is because of them.”

“Woah, guys. Please don’t argue,” Luna says, but the two of you ignore them, already caught up in your own anger and frustration. 

“I’m not going because of the movies,” you hiss. “I want to go because I hate this stupid space shuttle. I hate how controlled and restricted we are. I want to see the blue sky. I want to see sunsets and sunrises. I want to freaking feel the wind on my face and dress in clothes that aren’t these!” You point at the outfit you were wearing, a pair of nylon joggers and a long-sleeved shirt. You _hated_ joggers and long-sleeved shirts. You wanted to wear something else. _Anything else._

Renjun sits upright on the bed as well. “You’re being ridiculous! You need money down there, you know? You can’t just travel around! You need a job and a place to live and you don’t know anyone!”

“The bridging program exists, did you forget? I’m not gonna be on my own! Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“Because it’s not something to be happy about! It’s safer up here, why can’t you understand that? You can visit Earth when you’re older but 18 is too young of an age to go down alone to a whole new place!”

“Guys!” Luna exclaims. You both turn to look at them. “Please stop fighting, this is ridiculous!”

Renjun rolls his eyes before getting off the bed. He glowers at you. “Whatever. I hope you know you’re being a selfish jerk, (Y/N). You’re only thinking about yourself and not how people feel about you leaving.”

You throw your hands into the air in frustration. “Why do I have to think about other people’s feelings?” you cry. “This is _my_ future so it’s _my_ choice!”

“You’re only seventeen years old, you don’t know what’s right for you!”

You get off the bed to stand in front of him, poking a finger into his chest accusingly. “Oh yeah? And you do?”

He shoves your hand away from him, and you let it drop to your side. “I sure as hell know more than you do! You’re so immature!”

“I’m immature?” you ask incredulously. “I told you this because you’re my best friend and I thought you’d be happy for me, but I guess not!”

“I’d be happy for you if this was literally _anything_ else!” he seethes. “But this is so stupid!”

“ _You’re_ stupid!” you spit out. “You know what? I’m gonna leave. Because apparently, I’m just someone you think you can control and not a person of my own!” You make sure to shove him with your shoulder as you walk past him, and out of Luna’s room. 

“(Y/N), wait!” Luna calls after you, but you ignore them. 

You don’t even bother to count anything, your blood boiling and your mind furious. If you were living in those stupid Earth movies, you know that you’d have steam pouring out of your ears and your head inflated.

Rage and sadness were all you felt. You felt rage at Renjun for saying such things to you thinking he’s your parent or guardian, and dejection at the fact that he wasn’t happy for you. Your own best friend couldn’t make himself feel happy for you.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── 

It takes Renjun 22 hours, 34 minutes, and 19 seconds to show up to your pod to apologize. 

There’s a knock on your bedroom door and you whine at the sound. “Mom, I said I’m going to sleep for a bit.” You really weren’t, but you wanted to be alone without any questions from your mom who had seen your tear-streaked face when you stormed into your pod the day before. 

“I’m not your mom.” The voice has you immediately sitting upright on your bed. 

“Why are you here?” you demand bitterly. Renjun invites himself into your room, hesitating by your door before he decides to sit on the edge of your bed.

“Your dad let me in,” he explains. 

"Well, get out. I’m trying to sleep, and I don’t want to talk to you or see your face,“ you grumble, pulling the covers over your head and turning your back to Renjun.

“I- Wait. I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry about yesterday and everything I said. I was overreacting. It’s your choice whether you stay here or go to Earth. I’ll just miss you a lot and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I know that’s a dumb excuse though. I’m sorry.” You pull the covers off to look at him, just to see his eyes are already on you. He’s being genuine with the apology, you can tell. Him being this close makes you notice his puffy eyes as if he had been crying, and his downturned lips that form a pout. You’re conflicted between wanting to slap him and wanting to kiss him. _Wait, huh?_

The sudden thought of wanting to kiss your best friend has you raising your feet, and with the help of your legs, you shove him off the bed.

“Wh- ow! Why’d you kick me?!” Renjun cries. He doesn’t bother to sit up, instead just laying on his side as clutching his butt. “Ow, my butt!”

“That’s what you get for being mean,” you say. “I had to punish you somehow.” 

Renjun looks at you in disbelief. Then his face turns into acceptance. “Okay, fine. I guess I deserved that. But am I forgiven now?”

“No,” you reply. “Let me do that a few more times and then you’ll be forgiven.”

Renjun looks like he wants to say something, but then he bites his lip— his stupid lips that you were once again staring at until you force yourself to stare at the wall behind his head instead— and says, “Okay. You can push me off your bed and hit me and punch me as much as you want. I deserve it for being a jerk yesterday.”

Your face softens at his words. How were you supposed to stay mad at him when he was being so apologetic? _How the hell were you suddenly unable to be stubborn around him?_

You clear your throat and roll back over on the bed, facing your back to him once again. “Apology accepted,” you say. “But I need some time before I forgive you.”

You hear Renjun get off the floor and sit on the bed again, the mattress dipping from his weight. “That’s fine. What I said was unforgivable. I don’t even know what came over me.”

“Yeah, neither do I.”

It’s silent for a moment. “I did it because I don’t wanna be alone once you leave.”

You sit up to look at Renjun. His head is faced away from you, and he’s staring at the floor. “You’d have Luna,” you whisper.

“It’s different,” he replies. He finds it easier to admit things when he isn’t looking you in the face. “We’re much closer, don’t you feel it? Plus, I always thought we’d do our internship together and then be research partners, and maybe we’d go exploring to other planets together. Maybe one day we’d even have a mission where we’d get to go to Earth together.” He fidgets with a loose string on the edge of your bedsheets.

“You can come visit me on Earth. Or even better, come to Earth with me and work at NASA.”

“Hah,” he laughs drily. “I wish. It’s a bit too late to bring it up to my mom. It’s fine, I don’t wanna be selfish and force you to stay here. Honestly, I should’ve seen it coming. You always did talk about visiting Earth. I just thought I could convince you to stay or something. I thought that maybe you were just dreaming about it and not actually gonna do it. But I can’t control what you do. I’m sorry. If you really want to go to Earth, then I’ll support you.” 

You hear him sniffle and shuffle over to where he’s seated, adjusting yourself so one leg hangs off the bed while the other is still under you. “Are you crying?” 

Renjun wipes away his stray tears on his cheeks. “No, I’m not,” he lies. 

Despite the fast beating of your heart, you wrap an arm around Renjun’s middle, pulling him into a hug. “Why are you crying? I didn’t know that me going to Earth was this heartbreaking for you,” you attempt to joke. 

“Sorry.” Renjun wraps his arms around you, burying his face into your shoulder.

You bite your lip and pat his back trying to calm him down. “We still have the rest of the school year left before I actually have to go, Jun. Besides, I’m not leaving forever. I’ll come back to visit.”

He answers with a choked out sob. So you hold him and let him cry. You’d thought that it was only your heart breaking, but Renjun’s had been breaking for far longer than yours. If he was you, he’d know exactly for how long. But he wasn’t you, and maybe he was better off not knowing how long.

**[2050]**

10 hours, 27 minutes and 55 seconds before you had to leave. Technically, you were supposed to be sleeping, resting up before your flight that was in the early hours of the day. However, you couldn’t sleep. You were filled with too many emotions— excitement, sadness, anxiety, literally everything that existed— and so you snuck out. 

Seeing a figure slumped against the wall where you usually sat with Renjun, you nearly jumped out of your skin before you realized it was just him. _Just Renjun._

“Oh, hey,” he says, noticing you. “Couldn’t sleep?”

You shake your head ‘no’. “Kinda feeling nervous and scared.” You sit down beside him, shoulders and sides touching each other. 

“You’ll be fine,” he assures you. His hand takes yours, fingers intertwining. “You’re (Y/N), the most independent and self-confident person on this shuttle. You got this.”

You let out a heavy breath. “Yeah, I guess so. I’m… I’m just going to miss everyone.”

Renjun squeezes your hand. “We can call each other still. This is what you’ve wanted your whole life, (Y/N), don’t be getting cold feet now. You’re going to go to Earth and breathe in the air, and see the sky, and walk on the sand by the ocean, okay?”

“Okay.” 

You stare out at the planet outside the glass window. The familiar sight that you would no longer see because you would finally be down there. Down where you always belonged.

“Can I tell you something?” Renjun asks. 

“What is it?” you ask nervously, turning your head to look at him. He’s already got his eyes on you, scanning your features as if he wasn’t ever going to see you again. Well, realistically speaking, he really wasn’t going to be seeing you again, at least for a while.

“I… I love you.” 

“Huh?” your voice is quiet, and your mouth hangs open. “Like a friend, right?”

He shakes his head no, and you swear your heart skips a beat. “I love you,” Renjun repeats. 

“I’m leaving in the morning,” you say. 

“I know. You don’t have to say it back, but I just wanted you to know.”

You bite your bottom lip, looking into his eyes. _Should you tell him too?_

Renjun notices your hesitation. He swallows, and you watch his Adam’s apple move in his neck. “I’m gonna head back to my pod,” he says. His hand starts to slip out of your grasp, and you tighten your hold. 

“I love you,” you say quickly, afraid that he’d leave and you wouldn’t be able to say those 8 letters back to him. “I love you, Renjun.”

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, and despite knowing he felt the same way about you, you were nervous. Sure, you admitted that you liked each other, but _what now?_

While your mind is swarmed with thoughts, Renjun cups your face with the hand that isn’t holding yours. His eyes flicker to your lips, to your eyes, back to your lips— and then you feel him on you. His lips are chapped, and it’s obvious that neither of you knows what you’re doing, yet it feels good. You tilt your head forward so that you can kiss back, your lips moulding to his. 

When he pulls away, he lets his forehead rest on yours. Your eyes are still closed and you feel the flutter of his eyelashes near your skin. 

“Since how long did you know?” he asks you in a whisper. His breath fans your face, warming up your already heated cheeks. 

“I don’t know,” you confess. You pull your face back from Renjun so that you can open your eyes and speak. “Maybe since last year, but I think I’ve always felt like this about you.”

Renjun smiles, his eyes filled with love and something else that you can’t recognize. “I realized how I felt when you got together with Dejun, but I think I’ve also always felt this way about you.”

“So now what?” you ask him. It’s a question that both of you need the answer for now because in 10 hours you’d be gone.

“I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d actually return my feelings,” Renjun admits. 

Your heart hurts at the thought of having to leave him. “I’m gonna be gone in the morning,” you remind him again. 

Renjun sighs. He sits back down beside you, legs crossed, and pulls your body onto his so that you’re seated on his lap. He guides your legs to wrap behind his back. If it weren’t for the sadness you felt, the position would have had you an embarrassed and shy mess. Instead, you take comfort in the feeling of his hands on your hips, knowing that you wouldn’t be feeling him on you again. 

“We can try long distance,” he suggests. “Like in those movies we watched.”

You sigh. “I don’t know. We haven’t even done anything besides admit how we feel, and to just change our relationship dynamic suddenly is weird. What if it doesn’t work out long-distance? What if we lose contact? If we’re friends then at least we can still catch up. If we get together then things will be weird later. Besides, we’re practically going to be on two different planets, you know? Those people were just across the country.” You hate what you’re saying, and all you want to do is finally be with Renjun and kiss him as much as you can before you leave, but you can’t. You know deep down that it isn’t the most logical thing for you to do. 

Renjun’s face drops. “Yeah, you’re right.” From his tone, you know he’s only agreeing with you because he doesn’t want to say what he’s thinking. Most times you’d force him to admit what he was thinking, but this time you don’t. It was better this way.

“This sucks,” you huff. You wrap your arms around Renjun’s waist and hug him, resting your chin on his shoulder. 

“I’m gonna miss you.” He buries his face in the space between your neck and shoulder, and you feel wetness, as if he’s crying. Knowing that he’s crying makes you tear up too, and you sniffle trying to hold it in. 

“Don’t start crying, I’m gonna cry too,” you say, voice trembling. You force a laugh to make it less serious.

“Too late,” Renjun mumbles. He wraps his arms around your waist as well and squeezes you. 

The two of you sit there in each other’s embrace trying not to cry. The occasional sniffle from both of you sounds in the otherwise empty area. 

You don’t know how long you stay like that for, maybe only a few minutes or maybe half an hour. You don’t wanna count. It just reminds you that you only have so much time left to be with Renjun. Oh, how you really hated Fate. 

“You should probably go back to your pod,” Renjun says breaking the silence. His voice is deeper than normal and rough from having just cried. “You have to be up in a few hours anyways to get on the rocket and leave.”

You sniffle, rubbing the heel of your hand into your eyes. You want to tell him that you don’t want to go, that you want to just sit in his lap with him like this forever, but you don’t. “Yeah,” you agree half-heartedly. 

You peel yourself off of Renjun and help him get off the floor. He stares at you, the two of you just standing there for a moment. Then he presses a brief kiss to your lips, too fast for you to kiss back or even react. 

“I’ll walk you to your pod,” he says. He takes hold of your hand gently and you let him lead you to your home. 

8 hours, 58 minutes, and 22 seconds before you leave tomorrow. You suddenly don’t want to go.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Your eyes are drowsy and body tired from lack of sleep to the point where you felt like you were in a fever dream. You’re waiting to be let into the rocket alongside a few other classmates who were heading to Earth as well as some other habitants of the space shuttle. Off to the side, your dad is standing with your bags, arms crossed on his chest. Luna is also standing by him. Your mom on the other hand is clinging onto you and crying. 

“My child is so grown up now, I’m going to miss you so much,” she wails into your shoulder, petting the back of your head. 

You pat her back gently. “Mom, it’s okay. I’ll call you every day. I’ll be fine.” She doesn’t reply, choking out more cries instead as she clings onto you tighter. You feel tears pricking your eyes as well, but you don’t want to cry in front of her.

“All passengers can now board the rocket,” a voice says on the intercom system. One of the flight attendants is standing by the entrance, checking people’s names and ushering them inside with their bags. Only passengers were allowed past that entrance. 

“Honey, you’re going to have to let her go now,” you dad says. He helps pry your mom’s hands off of you and gives you a hug of his own. “Be careful.”

You nod your head. “I will be.” 

Luna comes up to you and pulls you into a tight hug, tears streaking their cheeks. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“Me too,” you admit, hugging Luna just as tight. You squeeze your eyes shut so tears can’t fall. You’d been so excited to leave, but you hadn’t thought about the emotional baggage that came with moving to a whole new world and starting a whole new life. 

You grab your bags─ two carry-on bags that you could pull, and a backpack─ and head to the back of the line of passengers. 

You glance around. Renjun hadn’t shown up, and your heart slightly hurts at that fact. You know you’d already said your goodbyes to him, but you’d at least thought he’d show up to watch you go. 

When you’re sixth in line, you turn back around to look at your parents who are standing a small distance from you with the rest of the parents and families. Your mom is now clinging onto your dad while Luna stands beside them. You throw a smile their way.

When you’re fourth in line, you hear your name being called. 

“(Y/N)!” You spin around, only to be pulled into a hug. _Renjun. He came._

You let go of the carry-on bags and hug him back just as tight. “Thought you weren’t coming,” you manage to choke out. 

Renjun pulls away from you, holding onto your shoulders. “I’m not gonna let my best friend leave without saying goodbye.”

Your lips form a small smile, and Renjun’s eyes flicker to them. You see him hesitating, mouth parted and unsure of what to do, and so you take the initiative to move instead. You cup his cheeks and press your lips to his. His hands on your shoulders drop to your waist and he pulls you closer.

You’re sure that you’d be getting so many questions from Luna and your parents the moment you land and called them, but at that moment all you could think about was Renjun. Renjun and his soft skin, Renjun and his slim hands that were resting on your hips, Renjun and his chapped lips that were once again on yours, Renjun, Renjun, Renjun.

He pulls away from you first, mouth parted to help him bring air into his lungs. You’re now first in line. The flight attendant clears her throat, waiting for you to go to her. You’re the last person left.

“I love you,” he says quickly. “Be safe.” His hand falls from your body way too fast for your liking, but you can’t do much about it. He heads towards Luna, and you take your carry-on bags to the entrance of the rocket. 

“(Y/N),” you state, telling her your name. 

She presses some buttons on the mini tablet in her hand, then nods. “You’re good to go in.”

You turn around and wave one last time at your family and friends. They wave back. Then you head inside the rocket.

Once you’re settled into your seat, you let your eyelids drop. And when the rocket starts moving, you let the tears fall. You were finally free. _But how come you didn’t feel like you were?_

8 hours and 37 minutes until landing. You try to get some rest. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Despite the bridging program that gave you a place to live, money, clothes, food, and even lessons about Earth, you felt like an outcast. Everyone else had families and friends to go to. You had no one. You hadn’t known your grandparents, only knowing that they had passed away before you were born (which also ultimately led to the decision of your parents moving to the shuttle, and you didn’t know how you felt about that). Your parents had lost contact with their siblings as well, so basically you had no family.

You tried not to let it bother you, instead admiring the world around you and finally being able to see all the things you once dreamed of. 

The blue sky was beautiful, and the first time you saw the colours of the sunset change as the sun went down, you nearly cried. All your life you had seen darkness, and now you could see as many colours as you wanted by just looking up. 

You also didn’t know there were so many different colours of flowers. There was a garden at the back of the hotel you were staying at, and you had stared at the flowers for at least a good 2 hours. 

Earth’s food was also different from food on the shuttle. You’d been fed healthy food your entire life, that eating something mildly unhealthy had been a shock to your taste buds. A good shock. If it were up to you, you’d eat until you felt like puking. The food was just _that_ good. 

You told your stories to your mom on video call every night. You had a special tablet that let you keep in contact. You’d also talked to Luna who demanded to know everything about Earth. The only person you hadn’t built up the guts to talk to though, was Renjun. You feel as if seeing his face would make you regret coming to Earth. All you want to do is to feel his skin against yours again. You want to hold his right hand that has the special birthmark, which only he has. You want to kiss him again. 

It’s a whole week, a whole 170 hours before you decide to finally call him. 

You anxiously bite your bottom lip as the video call rings. You’re seated on your bed, cross-legged and pillows propped up against the headboard to rest your back on.

“Hello?” Renjun answers on the third ring. 

“Hi,” you say quietly. His face comes into view and you feel your heart speed up. _Did he always look this handsome?_

“Oh! (Y/N), hi!” He grins and you can’t help but smile back. “How’s Earth? I was waiting for your call, I thought you forgot me.”

“I’ve been busy settling down,” you say. It’s not a complete lie. There was a lot of paperwork you had to fill out, and a lot of rules and things you had to learn. 

“Have you made any new friends yet?” 

You shake your head no. “Everyone had friends and family they could go back to. I’m kind of the only one left around here.”

Renjun frowns at that. “You’re in the USA, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Nevermind. I only know people in China,” he sighs.

“It’s fine, I can meet new people,” you reassure him. “I like being alone anyway. I have more time to look around, and it’s really nice, Jun. I love it. I’ve been watching the sunset every day and the colours are always different. I didn’t know there were so many different types of sunsets.”

You continue to ramble about the things you’ve seen. Renjun admires the way your eyes are bright and a smile is on your face as you talk about the beautiful things you saw the past week. 

“I wish you could see all of it in person. It’s really nice. Maybe you can come visit me on Earth and I can show you around?”

“Maybe,” Renjun hums. “Or you can come back here and show me pictures. I don’t know when I can get a long enough break from the internship to come visit you.”

“You’re right. I guess I’ll just be coming back. But once you finish the internship and get a job, you have to come down here, okay?”

“Okay.” He smiles softly at you through the screen. You wish you could see his face in person. 

“You know…uh…” you hesitate before continuing, “There’s this beach nearby and I went to watch the sunrise one morning… it’s a nice place for couples to go together.”

Renjun raises an eyebrow, and you can see the blush rising to his cheeks. “Is it now?”

You swallow. “Yeah… I was thinking of you when I was there. It would be nice if we could do that. Maybe not anytime soon, but in the future.”

“Right… in the future.” He bites his lip, his smile no longer there. You know he’s likely thinking of what you said the night before you left. How you didn’t think long-distance would work out between you two. 

There’s an awkward silence before you clear your throat. “I- I love you.”

Your heart feels like it’s falling when he doesn’t return the words. “(Y/N)… I think we should move on. This isn’t gonna work between us, like _ever_. I want to stay here and you want to stay there… it’s never going to work out.”

“I can come back after a few years,” you try to reason. “I won’t be here forever.”

He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, and you bite your lip nervously. “(Y/N), you’ve wanted this your whole life. I know you, and I know that you’re not gonna want to come back in a few years. It’s better if we just… if we just move on.”

Your heart drops. “What?” Your voice is barely a whisper when you speak. _Did he actually say what you thought he said?_

Renjun continues. “We’re better off as friends. You were with Dejun last year, remember? You’ll find someone you like and who will stay on Earth with you. And maybe I’ll find someone who wants to stay up here on the shuttle with me.”

“Renjun…” you don’t know what to say. Tears prick your eyes, but you will yourself not to cry, at least not yet. Not in front of Renjun. 

“It’s for the best, (Y/N). You understand, right?”

You bite your lip and nod, unable to speak. Deep inside you want to tell him no, that you don’t understand why he wants to move on when he promised you that he’d wait until he was 30 just for you, and when just last night he was considering long-distance.

“Maybe we should take some time away from each other so that we can get over each other. If we keep talking we won’t ever stop thinking about our feelings.”

“You want me to stop calling you?” you ask. You’re surprised, and honestly, more hurt than before. First, he tells you to move on and that you’d never be together, then he says he never wants to talk to you again? 

“For now, yeah. At least until we’re both completely over each other. I don’t know how long that’ll take but I’ll have Luna tell you when I’m ready to talk again.”

“You want to involve Luna in this mess?” It’s almost hilarious how he was willing to talk to your other best friend but not to you. You would’ve laughed if it weren’t for how hurt you also felt.

“Luna will find out either way. It’s better if we tell them ourselves,” he says. A voice calls his name in the background of the call. “I have to go. Mom’s calling me to eat dinner. Have fun, okay? Don’t think of me too much.”

The last view you have of Renjun is him waving at the screen. He doesn’t give you much of a chance to reply. You stare at your reflection on the dark screen for a moment, taking in how pathetic you look. Maybe if you hadn’t told him you loved him back the night before you left, things would be different. Maybe if he hadn’t said anything at all, you’d still be talking to him.

You see a tear roll down your cheek and throw aside the tablet. Dejun was right all those months ago. _You weren’t worth waiting for._

**[2051]**

Exactly 365 days pass since you last spoke to Renjun. It took you a month to build up the courage to reach out again, but it was as if he had gone MIA. The only reason why you knew he truly wasn’t dead was because of Luna who occasionally gave you updates on how he was doing. You didn’t ask for them but maybe Luna knew what you were thinking of deep inside since you knew each other for so long.

“Um, I don’t know if I should tell you this, but Renjun has a girlfriend.” Your eyes widen at Luna’s words. You were doing your weekly call and catching up. You didn’t expect to hear this news, though. 

“Huh?”

“Remember I said this new girl came up to the station a few months back? And how she works in the same internship department as Renjun?”

“Yeah,” you say slowly, already realizing where this was headed.

Luna continues, “Well, the two of them hit it off I guess. He told me yesterday that he’s taking her for a date next week.” 

You feel the bitterness in your mouth. “Where the hell can you even go for a date on the shuttle?”

Luna shrugs. “I dunno, he didn’t tell me where they were going and I didn’t ask.”

“Right.”

Luna bites their bottom lip nervously. “How do you feel about this?”

“I feel fine,” you huff. “I’m perfect. If he’s moved on then so have I.”

“Are you sure-”

You cut Luna off. “I’m fine, Luna. Also, I gotta go. I forgot I had to do some paperwork.”

“Oh, okay. Take care, (Y/N).” 

“Yeah, thanks. See you next week.” You end the call, the black screen showing your reflection. Suddenly you felt awful looking at your face. You fling the small tablet to your side and lay down on your back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

You really hadn’t thought over everything that you had to go through on Earth. You became homesick within the first week, missing your mom and dad and your pod. Then Renjun cut contact with you, and the only person you really had to share things with was Luna. Luna and their relationship with Jaemin didn’t make you feel any better either. They would share things that the couple did and you had to try and be happy for them, while also trying not to think of how that could have been you and Renjun if you had just stayed on the damn space shuttle.

It was also difficult to make any new friends on Earth. Everyone seemed to already have people they knew and were close to, and it was obvious that you wouldn’t be close to even the few people that you ended up becoming somewhat friends with. The space shuttle really didn’t prepare you with any social skills. 

You thought you could at least have a solo adventure and go around, but your plans had to be put off after a month of being allowed to roam around the city you were in. You had to find yourself a job— you managed to find one that was willing to take your inexperienced self in— and start paying some of that money to the hotel you were still rooming at. The bridging program still paid half of the fees, but you never had to deal with this before. Whatever you wanted, you could simply get it on the space shuttle. Here you had to actually pay for it.

The culture shock was one thing to deal with, but having to experience it all alone was what really pained you. A whole 365 days of this and though you were now somewhat used to it, you hated your lifestyle. Or maybe, you just hated the loneliness of it all. After all, you were just a tiny speck of a person on a huge planet in an even bigger universe.

You close your eyes and sigh. Earth was better when you were watching it from the huge window on the shuttle, with Renjun just a hands reach away.

**[2053]**

Another 2 years pass by with no contact with Renjun. Luna had tried to get the two of you to speak with one another but you made up excuses, not wanting to see his face knowing he was with another person. The way that the two of you could have been.

It was also another 2 years of getting used to Earth. Even though it was tough at times, you truly did love it. You’d managed to get yourself a job at the Earth headquarters for the space shuttle, which also meant you were earning more money. It was a regular office job, but your experience living on the shuttle gave you an upper hand during your interview. Occasionally, you’d also attend company meetings and give suggestions to the higher-ups. It was a way better work environment than the stuffy grocery store you’d been at.

You’d also finally been able to move out of the hotel a few months prior, renting your own one-bedroom apartment. It wasn’t anything grand, but you were proud of yourself for making that first step on your own.

In short, you felt like you were doing well without Renjun. Some days you didn’t think of him at all. However, some days he was all you could think of. You hated not being able to move on. You really didn’t understand how he did it. And when you heard the news from your parents, well, you didn’t know how to react.

“What?” you ask. You hoped you heard wrong. There was no fucking way what you had just heard was correct.

“Renjun’s engaged to Lily! They’re getting married in a few months!” your mom exclaims. “I always thought it would be you two together, but oh, they are such a sweet couple. Everyone in their department was expecting them to get married.”

You lick your lips, your heart pounding. “Wh- When did he propose?” You’re surprised at how stable your voice is considering the circumstances.

“I think three nights ago, but Lily came into work today with the ring, and that’s how we all found out.”

_Why didn’t Luna tell you when you called them the day before?_ Renjun did tell Luna nearly everything, so there was a high chance he told them about proposing as well.

“Oh, that’s nice,” you say.

“He wants you at the wedding ceremony, by the way. I know you two don’t speak as much anymore, but his mom said that he really wants you to come. Plus, I think it’s about time you come to visit us back home. It’s been three years.”

She was right. Maybe it was about time you visited home. Maybe the wedding wasn’t an ideal situation for you, but you couldn’t just _not_ show up to your old best friend’s wedding. You should be happy for him.

“Alright. I’m coming. I’ll look into the flight and stuff later this week.”

“Oh!” your mom squeals in delight. “I can’t wait to see you again! I miss you so much, every single day, dear.”

“Yeah, I miss you too, Mom.” You smile softly, ignoring the growing pain in your chest. “I have to get ready for work now. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Have fun at work, sweetie. Don’t overwork yourself.” She blows a kiss into the camera and waves. You wave back and end the call.

Renjun was getting married. That was some news alright.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

5 months later you find yourself on the same plane you were on three years earlier, this time leaving your home on Earth. There were no sad goodbyes, because you knew you’d be coming back in a few weeks time, and also because, well, you didn’t have anyone that you were too close to.

“Oh my god, (Y/N)!” You feel a body being thrown at you, and you stumble back, letting go of the handle of your carry-on suitcase. A laugh escapes your body as you hug Luna back.

“Hi,” you say.

The arms around you squeeze even tighter. “I missed you so much. Once you catch up with your parents, you need to tell me everything.” Luna lets you go, and you grab your bag. Your mom and dad both come up to you, your mom pulling you into a hug as soon as she reaches you.

“Oh, my baby! You grew!” She grabs your shoulders and holds you an arm’s length away, examining your face and body. She has tears in her eyes, and it makes you feel emotional too. After three years of only seeing your mom through a screen, you thought you’d already know what she looked like, but it was a different experience in real life. Your mom had wrinkles under her eyes and your dad as well. Luna also looked older and more mature than when you last saw them.

“Come on, let’s get to our pod,” your dad says. “We can all catch up there.”

The four of you head to your pod, the place you hadn’t seen in three years. You recall the time your mom said she was cleaning out your room and you wonder how it looks now. Despite the initial happiness you were showing on the outside though, you also felt a small twinge of sadness. The whole reason why you had come back was to see a certain dark-haired boy. Said dark-haired boy hadn’t shown up, though not that you expected him to, considering you hadn’t talked to him in years.

Luna slows their pace to match yours and the two of you follow the lead of your parents. Noticing your face, Luna grabs your hand and squeezes it.

“Renjun had to stay late for work,” they explain. “He really wanted to come see you, though. Trust me. He said he’ll come by tomorrow after you rest from your flight.”

“I wasn’t thinking about him,” you lie. Luna gives you a knowing smile.

“Whatever you say.”

You try not to think of Renjun, instead focusing on Luna who was swinging your arms giddily as you walked the halls of the shuttle. Passing by each module made you feel nostalgic, remembering several moments you had roaming around the place with Luna and Renjun.

_Stop,_ you tell yourself. Tonight was going to be about you catching up with your family and Luna. You weren’t going to let Renjun ruin the night for you.

4 hours, 12 minutes and 32seconds later when you’re in your bed trying to fall asleep, he’s back in your thoughts, ruining your night.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Renjun was 15 minutes and 51 seconds late. Not that you were counting or anything.

Luna had forwarded the message that he’d come over to your place at 6 in the evening after he got freshened up after work. His work had ended at 4.

16 minutes and 23 seconds now. You contemplate leaving your pod to get some food on your own. You weren’t going to sit here hungry while he was taking his sweet time to come over.

10 more seconds pass. _Fuck it,_ you think. You get off the couch in the living room and head to the door. You were going to go to the cafeteria and eat. Maybe you were just hangry, but the thoughts running through your head were telling Renjun to fuck off.

“Oh, hi.” Renjun’s hand is raised as if he was about to knock just as you swung open the door.

You’re frozen, unsure of what to do. This is the first time in three years that you’re seeing him again and he looks different. Older and more buff. His facial features are more defined. You also see the darker shades on his face, signs of facial hair growth. He was no longer the Renjun you knew.

“Should we go eat?” he asks. He clears his throat.

“Yeah. Okay,” you breathe.

He leads the way to the cafeteria, the two of you walking in awkward silence. You fidget with your hands, wanting to start a conversation but unsure of what to say. It’s not until the two of you grab your trays of food and sit down at a table near the wall that Renjun finally speaks up.

“How are you?”

You pick up the fork and play with the spaghetti in your bowl. “I’m good. How are you?”

You can’t look him in the eyes when he responds. “I’m good too.”

Cue more silence as the two of you eat your food.

“Congrats on the engagement,” you finally say.

Renjun coughs on the food he’s eating. He takes a gulp of water from his bottle.

“Thanks,” he says when he’s stopped choking. “Um, did you end up finding someone on Earth?”

You lick your lips. “No. I’ve been busy trying to adjust to Earth life. Maybe later.”

He nods his head, and you swear he has a look of relief on his face. “Yeah, maybe later.” He pauses. “How’s Earth like? Is it everything you imagined it to be?”

“It's… nice. I like it better than the shuttle for sure. It’s just a bit lonely sometimes. I didn’t know it would be hard making friends.”

“Yeah, well, they don’t exactly teach us social skills up here,” he shrugs.

You gulp, unsure of whether you should say what’s on your mind. But then you think why not? It’s not like Renjun was still in love with you, so he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

“I missed you,” you confess. “I missed talking to you. You were right, you know. About how we were closer to each other. There’s just some things I can’t tell Luna.”

“Oh.”

You’re unsure of how to take his response. Renjun doesn’t say anything else, and you immediately regret opening your mouth.

“(Y/N)? Is that you?” You turn your head to see Jaemin grinning at you. “Oh my god, I knew you were coming back but Luna wouldn’t let me meet you till later. How are you? How was the flight?”

On one hand, you’re glad that he interrupted Renjun and you, but on the other hand, you’re reminded of the fact that Jaemin probably knew more about what you did the past three years than Renjun did. Jaemin who you had only met four years ago and was dating your best friend.

“I’m good,” you answer. “The flight was alright. It was a bit rough leaving Earth but once we got out it was fine.”

“That’s good to hear. I’ll leave you two to catch up then.” Jaemin glances at Renjun and nods his head at him. Renjun doesn’t respond, his face stoic, and you wonder if there was any problem between the two of them. Jaemin doesn’t seem phased by Renjun’s coldness. “See you later, (Y/N).”

“Yeah, see you.” You wave your hand as he walks away.

“Did you talk to Jaemin while you were on Earth?” Renjun asks once Jaemin is out of earshot to hear that you were talking about him.

“He’s dating Luna,” you state obviously. “Of course I talked to him.”

“Right.”

“Do you not like him anymore?” you question.

Renjun shrugs. “He’s just annoying sometimes. He doesn’t know how to mind his own business.”

“Oh.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter,” Renjun sighs. “Finish eating and then we can walk around the shuttle.”

You listen to him and finish eating quickly. It’s a bit uncomfortable with him watching you, but you push those feelings aside and focus on the food. You hadn’t had shuttle food in so long, you forgot how healthy they made everything.

After putting your trays away and handing the plates back to the servers, the two of you head out of the cafeteria.

“Can we go to our spot?” you ask shyly.

Renjun hums. “Sure, we can go there.” You walk side by side down the familiar route leading to your spot.

The familiar sight of the glowing blue and green planet embraces you. You sit down, back against the wall of the same hidden area that you used to sit at.

“Have you been here since I left?” You tear your eyes away from the window to look at Renjun’s face.

“Yeah,” he replies. “A few times. I sometimes come here to think. I came a few times after I fought with Lily too.”

“Lily… the girl you’re marrying, right?”

“Yeah. She wanted to come along today to meet you but I told her she could see you another day.”

“Well, I’m here for a month and have nothing to do,” you admit. “I’d like to meet her soon too, you know, to give her the best friend’s approval.”

Renjun lets out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, you didn’t get to do that, huh?”

“How did you two meet?”

You sit there for god knows how long, listening to Renjun talk about what he did the past three years. For a moment, you even imagine that nothing had ever happened. That Renjun was not getting married in two weeks and that you had some sort of chance with him. You don’t count the seconds, though, afraid of the realization that you didn’t spend as long as you really wanted to with him.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“She’s nice, minus that, uh, comment she made,” you tell Renjun. You’re in his pod, seated on the living room sofa with Luna. Lily had just left for her work shift. “I can see why you like her.” There’s bitterness on your tongue and you hope it doesn’t show when you speak. Lily was pretty and kind, and you were glad Renjun found someone who shared the same passion for space and life beyond Earth. You had no right to be jealous when you were the one who ended the chance of being together first.

“Yeah, she is nice,” Renjun agrees. “Sorry that she said that. She’s just a bit insecure about us having a past.”

Lily had made a small remark, mentioning how she hoped you didn’t come back ‘in hopes of stealing her future husband’ as she had put it. You’d laughed it off but it did make you uncomfortable.

“We were just friends,” you say a bit defensively. “She doesn’t have to be insecure. I’m headed back to Earth as soon as the wedding’s over, and we don’t even talk anymore. We haven’t talked in three years, thanks to you.”

Renjun winces at the small jab you make at him. “Just don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to her later.”

You sigh. “Alright. I really don’t wanna be a homewrecker.”

“You won’t be,” Luna reassures you. “Renjun’s completely over you. There’s nothing to worry about.”

You glance at Renjun for confirmation, and he gulps. “I- yeah. I’m over you,” he stutters.

His hesitance makes you freeze. Luna is also alerted. “Renjun, you love Lily, right? You’re the one who proposed. You can’t be unsure about it.”

His eyes linger on you for a second before looking at Luna. “It’s just wedding jitters.”

He’s lying. You’ve known Renjun all your life and you know that he’s lying. Knowing that makes your heart drop. You don’t want to be a homewrecker, though, so you keep your silence.

Luna must have caught on to it too, though, because they raise their voice and demand, “Are they wedding jitters or are you actually unsure about how you feel?”

“Hey, it’s okay,” you intercept quickly, not wanting there to be a fight.

“No, it’s not okay!” Luna exclaims. “You have no right to be leading someone on like this, Renjun! I always thought you were using Lily as a rebound, but then I realized that maybe you were serious about her when you proposed. And now you’re saying you don’t know if you actually love her?!”

“What the hell do you expect me to feel then?” Renjun cries back. “My mom suddenly invites the person I was in love with for a huge part of my life and I’m supposed to just be okay with it?”

“Wait,” you cut in. “My mom said you wanted me here.”

“Why the hell would I ask you to come watch me marry someone else? I cut you out of my life so I could move on and now you’re back here ruining everything again! I was hoping you’d stay on Earth for the rest of your life and just never come back, but of course, you can’t do that. You can’t do anything right! You just want to ruin everything for me!”

You’re taken aback by his confession. Renjun also swallows, realizing what he just said. In the past, you would have argued back, telling him he was the problem and not you. That you weren’t the one ruining things, and that it was his fault for trying to move on so fast. But, your time on Earth had made you learn that fighting back wasn’t always the solution.

“You know, Renjun,” you say, voice shaky, “I’m not the one that thought using someone as a rebound to get over someone else was a good idea. And I sure as hell am not the person who proposed, while still unsure of their feelings. It’s not me who ruined things, it’s you. I thought you wanted me here and wanted to mend our friendship but I guess not. I’m not showing up to your stupid wedding, and if I do come back to visit the shuttle again, it sure as hell won’t be for you. _Fuck you_.”

You ignore Luna’s calls and storm out Renjun’s pod. He doesn’t try to stop you either.

You’d only been here for 86 hours and 43 minutes. It hadn’t even been a week, and you wanted to leave. You couldn’t though. The next rocket didn’t leave for Earth for another three weeks. You were stuck. Stuck on this godforsaken shuttle with your ex-best friend, who hated you and was getting married to someone else. The same ex-best friend that you still had some stupid feelings for.

Oh, how you wished you could hate him. For now, all you repeat in your head is ‘fuck Renjun Huang’. He didn’t deserve you in his life.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The look on Renjun’s face haunts you, and you wish you could get his words out of your head. It’s been a few days later, and you still can’t sleep at night. It’s as if he’s taunting you, telling you that you won’t ever get to be with him and that you’re the reason for all his problems.

Logically, you know that it isn’t true. It’s not like you controlled Renjun’s brain. But internally, you still feel like shit. _Words hurt, Renjun Huang. Fuck you,_ you think for the nth time that day.

A knock on your bedroom door shakes you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah?” you call out. Instead of a response, the knob twists and the door pushes open.

You’d assumed it was your mom or dad, heck, you’d even prefer Luna or Jaemin. Instead, the person who walks in is the last person you wanted to see.

“Hi,” he says. He shuts the door slowly.

“Why are you here?” you demand, sitting up on your bed.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Renjun replies. You see him hesitate before he takes tentative steps forward until he’s standing at the edge of your bed. “Can I sit?”

You ignore his question, narrowing your eyes. “What do you want, Renjun? You made yourself pretty clear the other day that you wanted nothing to do with me. I’m planning on staying out of your way until I leave. I wasn’t planning on coming to your wedding either if that’s what you came to talk to me about.”

Renjun winces at your cold tone. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was just really stressed out by everything going on, and my mom suddenly inviting you was kind of the last straw. I didn’t even know until you actually came and Luna left work early to meet you.”

“It doesn’t matter, Renjun. You wouldn’t have said those things if you didn’t mean them.”

Renjun sighs. His eyes drop to your bedsheets, then to the floor. He plops himself down onto the ground and sits with his knees up and arms wrapped around his legs.

“Remember that night we spent together again at our spot? And I told you about how Lily was the one who asked me out first?” he asks.

“What about it?”

“I only said yes because I thought it wouldn’t last. You know she’s the first person I actually dated, right? I didn’t mean for it to drag on for this long.”

“So you don’t actually like her?” you question. You’re not exactly sure what he’s trying to admit.

“I do like her. I think I love her too. Maybe not as much as I love you, though. I just- I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She kept bringing up marriage, and me and you, we hadn’t talked in years. I thought you had moved on. Luna didn’t tell me anything about you when I asked. So I proposed. And then you came back and all the feelings that I thought had disappeared just came to me again, so I snapped. I know it doesn’t excuse anything I did, but I just wanted you to know.”

“You’re right,” you say. “It really doesn’t excuse anything you said. Are you done? If that’s all you had to say to me, then you can leave now.” You want him out of your room because being this close to Renjun is making you want to forgive him. You know he doesn’t deserve your sympathy, but your heart is stupid and it’s telling you that it wants Renjun.

“I… yeah. I guess I’m done,” Renjun says quietly. He reluctantly gets up. You watch as he stands by the door, not moving.

“What are you doing?” Part of you is annoyed that he isn’t getting out of your room faster, and the other part is glad that he’s hesitating and taking his time. It’s likely it wouldn’t be the last time you see him─ the shuttle wasn’t that big of a place, and there was only one cafeteria─ but it sure as hell felt like it was. Almost identical to the first time you were leaving for Earth. This time, though, you felt less sad and more angry.

Renjun spins around. “I’m gonna do something real quick. Don’t kill me.”

He takes long strides and kneels onto your bed. You feel the mattress dip from his weight.

“Wha-?” You’re cut off by a pair of lips pressed onto yours, making you freeze. Then they’re gone, and Renjun is off your bed standing by the edge. It takes your brain a few seconds longer than necessary to register what had happened.

“You’re getting married in a week,” you blurt out. It’s the only thought in your head. Your worst nightmare was now true. You’re a homewrecker. You leap off the bed and stand in front of Renjun. He takes a step back, biting his bottom lip nervously. “What the hell? Why would you do that, Renjun? Do you want Lily to kill me? Or even better, do you want her to kill both of us?”

“I-” he tries to say, but you don’t let him speak.

“You have no right to do that to me when you know damn well that the last thing I want to do is ruin your marriage before it even happens!” You can feel tears pricking your eyes and threatening to fall, but you’re filled with rage. _Who did he think he was, just kissing you and thinking he can get away with it?_ “You’re so- so- ugh!” You shove his chest and Renjun stumbles back.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” he pleads. He grabs onto your wrists so that you can’t hit him. “Don’t tell Lily.”

“You should have thought of her before you kissed me, _idiot_!” You tug your arms trying to get out of his grasp, but he grips onto you tighter.

“I love you. I still love you, (Y/N). Throughout the past three years, you never left my mind. I even considered coming down to Earth myself, just so that I could be with you. _Listen._ I’ll find some way to tell Lily that I don’t want to marry her anymore, and the two of us can give it a shot again. I’ll come down with you, and we can work things out. Please?”

You ball your hands into fists. “Do you hear yourself, Renjun? You’re gonna break another girl’s heart just for me? Who says I even want to be in a relationship with you anymore? You’re crazy. Let’s forget this ever happened. I’ll stay out of your way and go back to Earth, and you marry Lily and live happily ever after.”

“I can’t live happily ever after with Lily! You’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Come on, (Y/N). I know you still have feelings for me too. I’ve known you for most of my life. Even though we spent three years apart, I still know you well enough to know what you’re feeling.”

You could also say the same for him. You know he’s being serious about leaving Lily and coming with you to Earth, _but did you really want to be known as the person who broke up a marriage?_ Even if Renjun was the one who initiated the kiss, you didn’t want Lily to feel hurt.

“Maybe you should leave.” You give one last tug and pull your hands away from Renjun. His face is filled with hurt and honestly, yours probably is too. “You’re not thinking straight. Just go back to your pod to Lily. I’ll be gone in a couple of weeks and things will go back to how they were before.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Renjun, just go!” you exclaim. Then with an unintended crack in your voice, “Please!”

He looks like he wants to fight back, but with one look at your adamant face, he decides against it. His shoulders droop and he sighs.

“Okay.” You also let out a small sigh of relief when he turns his back to you and heads out your bedroom door. You’re glad he doesn’t turn around to give you one last glance either.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes. Then you let the tears fall.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

2 days pass. You don’t bother to keep track of the minutes and seconds, instead focusing on how much time was left before you could finally head back to Earth. Fifteen days, twelve hours, and thirty-seven minutes before you’d be back on the rocket headed down to the planet you now considered home.

“How long do you plan on avoiding Renjun?” Jaemin asks. You were sitting in the cafeteria with him and Luna, eating dinner. You stab your fork aggressively into your salad at the mention of his name. _God, how did you survive eating these vegetables without any seasoning for years?_

“Jaem!” Luna hisses, elbowing him in the side. He gives an innocent look, and Luna rolls their eyes, though there’s a trace of a smile on their face. The happy couple were really just sitting there and being unconsciously cute. Right in front of your salad.

“Until I leave,” you grunt. You shove the forkful of leaves into your mouth and chew dreadfully. The food really was competing for top spot against Renjun in your list of reasons why you hated the shuttle and wanted to leave right that instant.

“I don’t think that’s possible. You’re bound to run into him at least once.” Jaemin was right, not that you’d admit it to his face. There was definitely going to be at least one run-in with Renjun or even Lily. The shuttle was only so big.

Nonetheless, you say, “Well, I’ll make sure it _doesn’t_ happen.”

Jaemin shrugs. “Okay then.” He continues eating, and you wish you could share the same easiness that he had. You knew he carried his own share of baggage too, but he always seemed so at peace. If only you could do the same.

“Lily’s coming this way,” Luna mumbles.

“Huh?” You spin around in your seat to see what Luna was focusing on behind you. Well, more like _who_ Luna was focusing on.

“Hi, (Y/N). We need to talk,” Lily states once she’s standing right beside your table. She doesn’t spare a glance at Luna or Jaemin, instead staring at you intensely. You can’t tell what she’s thinking.

“Talk about what?” you ask. You try to keep your voice steady, but deep down you’re nervous. What if she found out about the kiss? You didn’t know Lily well enough to know what she was capable of, and that scared you more.

“Personal things. Private things. Things I don’t want to say in front of your friends, or in a cafeteria full of people just so that I could spare both of our dignities,” Lily answers. _Fuck. She knows._ There’s no other reason as to why she would sound as passive-aggressive as she did.

You gulp. You hadn’t told Luna what had happened. Only your mom knew because she had heard the yelling, but she had promised to keep her mouth shut. You really didn’t want anyone else finding out.

“Okay.” You drop your fork onto your salad plate and get up. Luna and Jaemin both give you looks of concern, but you ignore them. “I’ll be back.”

Lily doesn’t look too happy that you agreed to come with her without a fight, but then again, she wasn’t about to talk to you about something exciting either. You’d let her fiance cheat on her. That wasn’t something to be smiling about.

You follow her as she leads you down the halls of the shuttle and to her pod.

She opens the door and enters. The place is surprisingly empty looking.

“Do you live here alone?” you ask.

“Yes,” Lily answers bluntly. It surprises you that her parents had let her come all alone to the shuttle, but you had done the same thing as well. You didn’t know much about her, but maybe you and Lily could have been friends if it were in different circumstances.

Lily gestures for you to take a seat at the small dining table set in the corner of the kitchen. Once you’re seated, she also pulls out the chair adjacent to you and sits down.

“I know Renjun kissed you.”

Your stomach drops. You were officially a homewrecker. Stupid Renjun and his inability to shut up when told to.

You let out a nervous laugh. “Actually, it wasn’t him. It was me. So don’t be mad at him. I’m sorry, it just suddenly happened, and I swear it won’t happen again. Renjun wouldn’t do that to you, you know?”

“You don’t have to defend him,” Lily says. “He owned up to it. You did nothing wrong, (Y/N). He told me everything you said to him right after, and honestly, I don’t blame you, because you did nothing wrong. It’s Renjun I’m mad at, not you.”

Your jaw is slack. _She wasn’t mad at you? Well, that’s a shocker._ “So… why did you wanna talk then?”

Lily rolls her eyes. “He broke up with me.” She shows her hand that was now ringless. “I know you like him, even though you deny it to save our wedding or whatever. Renjun likes you too. This is your chance, and honestly, if you aren’t going to take it, then you’re really stupid.”

You don’t know how to feel. You want to feel happy because Renjun really was serious about his feelings for you, and you want to feel relieved that Lily wasn’t mad, but you also want to feel offended that she’s insulting you.

“Aren’t you… Aren’t you upset that he dumped you for me? Even though he constantly told you that he was over me?” You fidget with your hands in your lap.

Lily lets out a sigh. “Of course I’m upset. I yelled at him and cried and screamed. But I think deep down, I always knew that he loved you more than he loved me. The universe aligned so that Renjun and I would be no more and you two could have a second chance at getting together.”

“Lily, I’m sorry,” you say. You feel awful. She’s putting up a good act of pretending like everything’s okay, but you know she’s hurt. You’d felt the same way when you found out he was engaged to her. You can’t look at her in the eyes without feeling guilty.

“Hey, as I said,” she reminds, “none of this is your fault. It’s Renjun Huang and his inability to think.” She giggles, but you can hear the hurt in her voice.

“So the wedding is called off, then?”

Lily shakes her head 'no’. “It’s a bit too late for that. The wedding is next week. But, you can take my place. You have my blessings and everything. You can marry Renjun.”

Your mouth drops open and you let out a choked cough. “What?!”

“Come on, you don’t want all that money and effort going to waste, do you? My parents couldn’t make it anyway, so the only people we really need to tell are Renjun’s parents and yours. Not that it matters what they think, because you’re both adults and can make your own legal decisions.”

“Was this Renjun’s idea?”

“It was mine. Don’t feel guilty. I’m upset and hurt, but I believe in true love. What you and Renjun have, that’s real love. It’s stronger than what I had with him.”

You’re overwhelmed with emotions, and without thinking, you jump up from your chair and pull Lily into a hug. A few tears escape your eyes as well.

“You deserve better than Renjun. I don’t know how to thank you or feel about everything, I think I’m going to need a few days to register it all. Thank you for everything, really, but I don’t think I can accept the wedding offer.”

“Well, it’s either you accept it, or you let thousands of dollars go to waste and disappoint all the people on the shuttle who were looking forward to having an actual party that isn’t the Solar New Year party. You wouldn’t want that now, would you? Besides, you don’t have to sign the wedding papers, it’s just for fun.”

You wouldn’t. Damn, was Lily good at convincing people. You hated disappointing others, and your time on Earth had taught you the value of money. It took you a couple of weeks of hard work to earn a thousand dollars. You couldn’t just let it go to waste.

“I… Okay, fine. I’ll do it. But I need to talk to Renjun about it first.”

“I knew you’d say that. I guess we both really do have similarities. He should be coming right… about… now.” As if on queue─ which it likely was─ there’s a knock on the door. Lily goes to open it up and lo and behold it’s the man himself.

“Did everything go well?” he asks quietly, inviting himself in. Lily gestures to your figure that’s standing by the table. You give a small, awkward wave when he looks at you.

Lily smiles knowingly. “I’m gonna leave you two be. I’ll be back later.” She grabs her keys and leaves the pod. The sound of the lock clicking shut is followed by silence. You don’t know what to say. Seconds pass, though they feel like minutes. Renjun is the one who breaks the silence.

“You don’t have to, uh, go through with the wedding plan. I know it’s so sudden and you may not feel comfortable with it-”

“It’s fine,” you cut him off. “It’s not like we’re gonna be signing actual wedding papers. It’s just for fun.”

“Yeah, but marriage is still a serious thing.”

You shrug. “It is, but we can’t let all that money go to waste. Money is hard to earn, you know. That’s one of the things I found out on Earth.”

“The movies really made Earth seem all nice and fun, huh?” he asks.

You make a face. “I mean, it wasn’t as easy as the movies showed it to be, but I still prefer Earth over the shuttle.”

Renjun chuckles. “Well, you’ll just have to show me when I come back with you.”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What?”

“I was serious about giving us a shot, (Y/N). I’ll come down to Earth with you. You can show me the sunsets and the flowers, and we could work together in the shuttle company building. Maybe I can do a side business with art. It’s really hard to get some good supplies up here.”

“Renjun…” Why did it feel so hard to say yes? You’d gotten the approval of his fiance─ well now ex-fiance─ yet you still couldn’t make yourself agree.

“If you don’t want to, I understand. I treated you horribly the past few weeks, and I ignored you for three years straight. We don’t have to jump into a relationship immediately, we can start off slow. Or, if you don’t want to talk to me at all ever again, we can do that too.”

You sniffle. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Renjin tilts his head to the side anxiously.

“Okay, let’s go to Earth together and watch sunsets and visit beaches and see rain falling from the sky.”

His eyes brighten. “Oh my god, really? Are you serious?”

You nod your head, and Renjun takes it as his chance to remove any space in between you. He takes long strides towards you and engulfs you in his arms, small giggles escaping him.

“I love you. I love you, (Y/N). I love you so, so much.” He buries his face into your neck and you can feel wetness on your skin. He’s crying. But so are you.

“I love you, Jun,” you say back. “I love you.”

If you had to count how long it had taken you from when you first met at five years old until now at twenty-one years old to finally end up together, it would be too many minutes, too many hours, and too many days. But the universe had a plan. And that plan was for you to be together, whether it took you five seconds to figure it out or five decades. You were meant to be together.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“I’m going to miss you guys so much.” Luna’s arms are wrapped around you and Renjun both, and they’re squeezing you tight.

“You have me,” Jaemin says from beside them.

“Yeah, but you’re not Renjun or (Y/N),” they huff. Jaemin gasps in mock offence.

“Fine, I guess I’ll leave for Earth too then.” Luna pulls away from the hug to slap Jaemin’s arm. He giggles in response, and you know he’s only saying it in good fun. Typical Jaemin behaviour.

Lily appears from behind the couple, standing and waiting for her turn to say goodbye. Luna and Jaemin step aside so she can speak privately.

“Have a good flight,” she says. She wraps you in a hug first and squeezes you tight. Then she does the same to Renjun.

You still feel guilty about everything that had happened, though Lily would constantly insist that it wasn’t your fault. You’d also found out why Renjun had taken a liking to her. Her personality was almost similar to yours, and she shared the same views about Earth as you did. She’d told you stories of all her adventures, all of which were nothing like the movies. It made you laugh a bit thinking of the irony that Renjun somehow developed feelings for people who loved Earth, while he despised it.

After saying goodbye to your parents and finally getting into your seats, you turn to face Renjun.

“Hey, do you remember what you told me when Dejun broke up with me?”

Renjun tilts his head to the side in confusion. “What did I say?”

“You made a pact with me? That you’d stay single, and if I was also single by the time we both turned thirty, we’d get married to each other? Something along those lines.”

Renjun squints his eyes, trying to recall. Then he snorts. “Man, I sure was cringey back then. I don’t even know why I said that.”

“You were just awful at consoling people,” you tease. “But hey, I guess we ended up doing it nine years earlier.”

Renjun laughs. He grabs your hand and plays with the ring on your right ring finger. “Yeah. I guess we did.”

It had been 16 years, 173 days, 9 hours, 25 minutes, and 48 seconds since you’d first met Renjun. Maybe it was time you stopped counting, though, because you and Renjun were meant to be forever. Forever didn’t have a time limit. It just was.


End file.
